I got a prize for self-control. Granted, it was
imaginary and self-awarded, but by golly, I earned it! What didn't I
do? I did not chuck my non-responsive laptop across the room,
smashing it to pieces. Realizing temper tantrums do not befit a 60-year-old
woman, I congratulated myself on my self-control and reflected on reasons why I
made a superior decision:
1.
I realized the wall would be badly damaged, and
I would have to pay for the repair;
2.
I realized that smashing my computer would only
hinder and prolong the odious tasks for which I required my laptop;
3.
I understood the value of the work and memories
located on that computer could not be easily recovered; and finally
4.
I once chewed my daughter out for doing nearly
the same thing.
Once when my daughter was a teen, I spied her, in a fit of rage,
chucking her cell phone on the ground. I recall her mood being inspired
by her boyfriend. I could understand if not support her sentiment,
but I berated her loudly and publicly about the cost of the phone and the
assurance that the phone would not be replaced if broken.
This did not improve her temper. She retrieved her phone from the
soft, cushy grass and stormed inside.
There have been many times since then when I have had the urge to
act like my former teenage daughter, but common sense and decorum always seem
to derail my baser urges. This is good, I suppose. No damage was done,
and unnecessary financial commitments were avoided.
Dr. Roberta Satow, in her Life After 50 blog on
Psychology Today's website describes adult temper tantrums as the unachieved
ability to handle disappointments in life.
She noted that tantrums can be internal, expressed in feelings of
negative self-worth and fear. Nurturing
parents help children learn to deal with these feelings and evolve into
emotionally healthy adults. Adults who
have lacked this childhood guidance require the patience and love of those around
them as they continue to work through their personal and professional turmoils.
I guess I should feel grateful that I have evolved into a
relatively stable human being but I have to admit that I think I would
occasionally enjoy the freedom of a good scream and throwing tantrum.
Satow, Roberta. “A Strategy to Deal with Adult Temper Tantrums.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 5 Feb. 2019, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-after-50/201902/strategy-deal-adult-temper-tantrums.
